I’m a Dad, and I’ll admit I take my role seriously. I’m a partner to my wife and as much as possible, an equal parent for my children in all the ways I can.
That all said, Father’s day to compete with Mother’s day feels almost like starting with a day to celebrate quarterbacks and than a complimentary day to celebrate the kicker. You know, just for parity sake. Yeah, they’re on the same team, but we know who’s pulling the weight. Father’s day by itself sounds almost like a joke, since typically the core requirement is performing something we’re built to enjoy already. But presenting Mother’s day by itself sounds logical. We know they’ve been traditionally the under-appreciated glue of families, expected to fill in all areas of home life quietly and dutifully that don’t involve killing spiders and repairing load-bearing joists.
For an example, I’ve made it a point to be just as involved in changing diapers and all the incremental steps of raising two children I could, but somewhere along the way, our kids got new clothes, clean bottles and a constant supply of diapers. I took it all for granted as something my wife had been covering, but there was definitely an internal calling in her to cover these areas I was completely oblivious to. I’ll admit more times than not, even though we both work, she’s the one at our children’s’ doctor visits. She certainly schedules most of them. I’m lucky if I ever schedule my own.
If we go back a generation, holy crap does the picture get worse. Our father’s were great at discipline and building a moral compass and work ethic in us, but beyond that, I wouldn’t rely on my Dad for much else. Great man, but not the guy to review homework with or expect new school clothes from. Moms covered it all, and often gave up a lot of strong workforce potential to see us raised right. Every step of the way, I could count on Mom’s vigilance.
Dad’s are important, and there’s every reason to respect a Dad who loves their family and provides all the means to grow happy and healthy. But I think homes are really built on foundations that Moms provide. I could be wrong about your situation, but in my own experience, Father’s day is best spent just thanking Mom’s one more time.